Posted on February 19, 2009 12:00 AM MST by Sara Richardson
Recently, my almost three-year-old has been throwing around that famous phrase. “Mom, I’m scared.” He pulls it out at the most opportune times. Usually bedtime. And it turns out that he can find the most creative things to fear. Shadows on the ceiling, creatures in the closet, strange sounds coming from outside. Where did it come from? When did he learn that there is so much to fear?
As I was thinking about how to help him cope with his fears, I started to face some of my own. They’re different—not the typical monsters under the bed or fear of the dark, but they’re there all the same. Sometimes it’s that I’m not doing enough—not giving enough of myself to my kids, my husband, God. Sometimes I fear that I’ll never be able to give enough. Then there’s the anxiety about how I’m going to accomplish everything I need to get done. About how I’m going to raise my kids in an increasingly scary world. About what direction my writing is going to take, whether or not all of the work I’ve put in will ever be worth it.
So, I got to thinking. When I’m afraid what reassures me? Where do I go to find peace? The answers helped me to devise a strategy for helping my son cope with this natural part of human thought.
Truth. I’ve found that simple phrases straight from the Bible are the best weapons for battling fear. And even a three-year-old can repeat them. Here are some of my favorites:
“So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God…” (Isaiah 41:10)
“Perfect love drives out fear.” (I John 4:18)
“I will fear no evil…” (Psalm 23:4)
“The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?” (Psalm 27:1)
“My heart will not fear…” (Psalm 27:3)
“Fear not for I have redeemed you…” (Isaiah 43:1)
“Do not worry about your life…” (Matthew 6:25)
Communication. Sometimes it’s so tempting for me to brush over my son’s fears. They sound silly, they’re unfounded, and I don’t want to indulge them and make them worse. But I also think it’s important to acknowledge them and talk him through them, no matter how ridiculous the conversation can get. The same is true for my own fears. The more honest I am about them, the more I confess them to God, the more reassurance I receive.
Prevention. Interestingly enough, I’ve noticed that my son’s fears seem to increase in number and intensity when things are really busy. When we’ve been running like crazy, when I’m feeling stressed, when we don’t follow his routine as closely. During these times, my fears seem to get worse as well. Sometimes we can’t avoid busyness, but we try to whenever we can. It often means saying no to serving on a committee or to joining another group or to helping out with something else at church. It’s important to be involved, but we’ve learned to be more selective in what we do so we don’t lose our focus.
