For Such a Time as This

Posted on April 17, 2009 12:00 AM MST by Tiffany Kinerson

“...And who knows but that you have come to this position for such a time as this?” Esther 4:14

When Matthew was about three, all he wanted to talk about was “bad guys.” If he recounted his favorite scenes from Thomas the Tank Engine, it always had to do with Diesel the “bad guy” who did this or that and how much he didn’t like that bad guy. On and on he would talk, sometimes I understood what he said and sometimes I didn’t. But I kept listening. For some reason.

One day, he pushed a magazine out of my hands and climbed into my lap. I was so annoyed. You see, these guys have a hard-lined Mama. I have been very clear with them what the difference between Mama-time and kid-time is. But he was so cute with his big blue eyes and his chubby cheeks. And he really had to nail down this bad guy stuff for some reason. So he talked and talked and talked some more about the bad guy on Stuart Little. The falcon, to be exact.

And I just didn’t care. Everything in me wanted to push him off and go read in a quiet place. But there was a tiny something that told me to sit still. Maybe it was those eyes, or maybe it was his sincerity. Whatever it was, I stayed. And he talked about how they raced away from the falcon. And he spoke about how mean the falcon was to Stuart. Then suddenly, I got this vision of Matthew ten years in the future. Where he’d deal with a bully at school. Or a teacher who picked on another kid. Or there could be this kid that he really didn’t like, but he had to nail down exactly why so he could get a grip on it and maybe find some forgiveness in the situation. Serious, complex situations beyond the protagonists and antagonists of childhood stories.

My soul stilled. If I didn’t listen now, while it was still pretend—and when he was trying out his conversational skills—then why in the world would he try me again ten years later when it was real scenarios that threatened his heart? Understanding flipped my blinders open to the three year old in my lap. I was there, and I was home with him for such a time as that. And the that which will happen when he’s thirteen. And again when he’s twenty-three. And forty-three. As long as I’m alive, I want him to know that I’m here for him. To listen about the “bad guys,” to encourage when life is too real. Or even when it’s just a movie or story we can connect over.

Dear God, let me be the mom they need. Show me peace in my position, so that I can be there for whatever time they need me, even if it will be years until I see the reason.

Send us a comment or question