Love Without Limit

Posted on March 18, 2009 12:00 AM MST by Tiffany Kinerson

“Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other.... The LORD will indeed give what is good, and our land will yield its harvest.” Psalm 85:10&12

When my first son, Joseph, was born, I was not in love with the boy. He came out, all red and angry. He had dark, thick hair, and quite honestly, he looked a bit like a gargoyle. But more than that, in spite of the preparation for parenting classes I’d taken, I didn’t know what to do with this massive responsibility God had given me. What if I dropped him? How was I supposed to do that swaddle thing with the blankets? And meconium—what in the world?—how was a person supposed to get that stuff off his bottom?

Don’t get me wrong, I did everything I was supposed to do. I fed him every two and a half to three hours, I changed him, clothed him, bathed him, held him. But after a month of this, my feelings still had not softened for him. I wasn’t worried about it for some reason. I knew somehow this was normal for me, so I just waited. And waited. And waited. Until suddenly, somewhere around maybe when he slept through the night. Or maybe once I could walk around and garden and stuff without pain. Or maybe it was when he started that coo-thing. Whatever it is, I loved that kid like a mama bear should. And it was full; I was full.

Soon thereafter (and I’m not kidding you, it was soon), my second boy, Matthew, came around. Before he came, I foresaw what was on our horizon: uh-oh, I’d have to take the time to fall in love with this one, too...and we’d have problems. How could I deal with it if I was so enamored with the first born but went through the motions for the second? Think of the therapists he’d need for that one.

So I went to God with it. “You’ve got to make me in love with this guy from first glance. I don’t think it’ll work like last time in this case, so give me love. Love, God. I need more love than I could ever imagine.”

You wouldn’t believe my delivery—or maybe you would since it seems so many have similar stories. I got to wake up in the middle of the night, tap my husband on the shoulder. “I think it’s time.” We got to rush to the hospital, all romantic and expectant. Fun and exhilarating. When will he come? What will he look like? And he was beautiful and smooth, smaller than I remembered a newborn could be.

My husband laughed when I had my baby in my arms once we were home. Matthew lay across my knees, and I sang to him from my newest CD. “Hallelujah to the Lord of heaven and earth....”

“You are different with this one,” he said.

And he was right. I loved Matthew, not better than Joseph, but as much as Joseph. From the beginning. It was a miracle no doubt from the hand of God.

Is there love missing in your life? Do you need to offer someone more than what you have given them in the past, or do you need to balance the scales in your love for your own parents, siblings or children? What about your friends? A crazy neighbor? Or that person that glares and turns her back to you when you come near? If you ask Him to give you a harvest of love—that love that is so abundant it has to be given away—He will indeed give you that which is good. It may take some time, and maybe you, too, will have to wait until you have no more pain or sleeplessness from that person. It doesn’t matter; it’s not something you can force to happen. Somehow it’s normal. You are normal.

But I assure you, when it comes, the love God gives you will be full and it will be miraculous. Then peace will kiss your lips like it did mine. And then you can sing, too.

Hallelujah to the Lord of heaven and earth.

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