Strong Enough

Posted on September 22, 2008 12:00 AM MST by Kasey Heinly

The words to a Sheryl Crow song have been in my head a lot lately:
 
When I’ve shown you that I just don’t care
When I’m throwing punches in the air
When I’m broken down and I can’t stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?

Been there a lot lately. In their book Captivating, authors John and Stasi Eldredge discuss the feeling so many women share—of being “too much and not enough.” How well I know that paradox. Don’t we all?

At times our emotions are a raging flash-flood that takes down anything and everything in their path. Too much. And we are not strong enough ourselves to overpower them, to reign them in. Not enough. We are caught in an inward mutiny, and our logic and sense sometimes get locked away in the captain’s quarters while the crew of raging hormones and emotions take over the ship and steer us who knows where.

I find it tempting, especially in those times, to put the burden on my man. To wind up and let loose in his general direction, whether I’m just venting or really letting him have it for a crime (real or perceived) for which he may or may not deserve the full force of my unrestrained wrath.

This always leads to the same unhappy harbor. Resentment. Disappointment. Separation. Sometimes the force of my frustration bowls him over and leaves him feeling like he’s failed me. Sometimes it leaves me feeling like he has. Like he can’t handle the emotional battle inside me. Or be whatever thing I feel I currently need him to be. It’s a sharp downward spiral.

But what’s the truth here?

For me, the core of it comes down to this: That the first and the safest place to run in those overwhelming times is not to my husband, but to the Lord. I pour out all my complaints before him and tell him all my troubles (Psalm 142:2 NLT).

And that second, in those times when the mutiny prevails, and my husband becomes a casualty, well, first I need to seek his forgiveness. And the fact that he can and does—that’s what makes him strong enough to be my man.

Send us a comment or question