The Men of My Heart

Posted on February 10, 2010 12:00 AM MST by Tiffany Kinerson

Around Valentine’s Day it seems like we often focus on girl-y images: pink stuff, flowers, heart-shaped boxes. Anyway, for a moment, I’d like to turn our eyes to more masculine ideas ... like men. From daddies to brothers to uncles to husbands and even some friends along the way, there are guys that give us women the tiniest glimpse into the powerful and masculine love of God, the ultimate valentine.

I come from a solid family with a good father and two big brothers. I’m also married now to a great man. I mention this because, as I look back on some of the sure-minded steps I’ve taken, I think I can attribute my surety to the powerful males in my life. I love these guys, and I want to share a little bit about how they’ve influenced me.

My daddy was my first love. He is the one who gave me the tiniest picture of God’s great adoration for me. One of my treasured memories of him was when I was about 8. I was in my purple cowboy hat and boots, getting ready to go on a date with him to the Houston Rodeo. I sang into the mirror, “I’m the happiest girl in the whole U.S.A.” (If your parents were into 80s country music, you might remember that song.)

The significance of this time, I think, is that my dad, through this and many other instances, established within me an internal assurance that I was worth good treatment and respect. He set my life on a healthy path, green with life and expectation. And he prevented me from settling, not only on which men I chose, but also on which pathways I looked for. After a purple hatted dance down fruited and flowering walkways, you never go back to arid rocks and dirt.

My brothers, too, ushered me in their own ways. Deep inside a woman’s mind, I think we all know our strengths. Maybe I’m wrong about this, but doesn’t the definition of reassurance imply that there is already assurance established? If so, doesn’t it make sense that if a woman really looks inside, she knows if she can dance or if she is beautiful or strong? It’s just that she needs someone to say, “Yes. You’re right. Now move in this. Go. Be you.” This is what my brothers did for me.

Of course, like all siblings, my brothers weren’t perfect in all they said. But when I was ten and struggling with the weight of a milk carton, my brother was the one who told me to suck it up and carry the thing. Guess what! He was right. I was strong enough to do it. And when I was eighteen and a size 8, laughing about my personal battle of the bulge, my other brother looked at me like I was insane. “You are not fat.” His voice was so matter-of-fact, so assured, and the words rang so true that I decide to cease that struggle forever after that. My brothers sought out and encouraged my strength. And they did it in a way that no kid-gloved female influence could.

And my husband. Wow. This valentine of mine has offered me so many strengths it’s hard to sum them up. But there is this one story that I remember often in times of decision insecurity. When I was a teacher, I got to teach the Bible as literature for a unit in the public high school in which I worked. The point was to show students the metaphors used in English literature. After all, what good is a reference to the Good Samaritan or the Prodigal Son if you really don’t know those stories?

Anyway, I came home nervous that my spiritual beliefs would spill over into the lesson in an inappropriate way. I did not want to proselytize, but holy smokes, the Bible was my very favorite book in the universe! Would I be able to zip my lips at the appropriate times? My husband looked at me with such fire I had to listen to him. “You teach what you need to teach,” he said. “If you get fired for it, then you get fired.”

I was so encouraged by that reassurance. Inside me I knew I could be a professional and I could lead kids in my own steady, effective and appropriate way. But there was this whisper of doubt that told me I might hurt others with my zeal. And I really didn’t want to do that. But the man in my life came in and squashed that doubt. He pulled me together, gave me the punch of truth I needed and sent me right on out there. Of course I didn’t get fired. The kids loved the unit, and later, outside of class and at an appropriate time, students occasionally asked me about my beliefs.

The blessing in my husband's words was security. He encouraged me to make decisions and run with them. Sure I might mess up. I might make mistakes. Alternatively, even if I did everything right, there may be people out there who still misunderstand me. But there’s not much I can do about things like that. So the message was to be the person I had to be and live in the powerful life I felt growing inside me. How could anyone doubt that wisdom?

Have you missed out on the blessing of men in your life, or do you have children right now who seem to miss the strong assurance of a man's hand? Take heart! God stands before you now with a romance like you've never imagined. He is the stuff that dreams are made of, and He longs to sweep you off your feet. Introduce yourself to Him, introduce your children to Him. He is the fullest and truest love you'll ever know. And chances are, after you've opened your heart to God, He will bring forth others to show you a physical example of His love, too.

"...Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for [us]." I Jn 4:7-10 

Happy Valentine's Day, my friend.

You've heard from me and the Bible. Now it's your turn. Is there a man in your life who helped shape you? Or have you dreamed of a great someone I may have described? I’d love to hear about it.

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