Adoration

Posted on December 30, 2009 12:00 AM MST by Tiffany Kinerson

My Christmas celebration brought forth to me a single, gelatinous question that ebbed and flowed within me, sometimes bursting through my tear ducts in trails of joy down my cheeks and sometimes stilling me until I dropped helplessly into a chair. The question was Why?

As in why me, God? Why do I deserve this much? Why do I get to have the good husband? Why the great kids? Why this beautiful life with the means to forge fun memories for my children? There are many wonderful people around with hearts much purer than mine, intentions so much more noble than anything I have to offer, and they did not get the man who saves up his gas refunds at work to buy something special. They don’t get to have these bright, funny boys who have woken up each morning with a thank you every day since Christmas for the silly toys they got. There are so many more deserving, smarter, harder working, more capable, wonderful people out there who don’t get to have the blessings that I have.

Why?

In my futile attempt to understand the world around me, I’m formulating a theory over here to answer such a question. Tell me what you think.

First of all, Malachi 3:10-12 says a couple of things that help me form my tentative explanation. This is where God talks about giving a portion of my income to His “storehouses.” Now I don’t pretend to know the specifics of what all that entails, but I do know this: when we give for Him/to Him, then as it says in this passage, God gives blessings back. Further, it says He gives back so much blessing that we won’t even have room for it. Then He ends this section with a promise that people will see those blessings and see God in us through them. So basically what all this means is that I’m blessed as a testament of God’s power to reveal Him to others.

But still. Why this blessing and not that one? Why is she—but not he—blessed?

Which leads me to the second part of my theory. This one comes from Genesis 22:18. In this, God says, basically, that His man, Abraham, was blessed by God in order to bless the world with his abundance. So I too in believing can bless others with my overflowing cup of His blessings. I’m blessed to show the world His power and to bless the world through that same power that overflows from me.

But again, why the blessing on him and not her? Why this blessing and not that? Why, why, why, why?

Thirdly, I think—and this is still just an idea I came up with, a theory, a possibility (I don’t even know if this is rude or insensitive)—it comes down to this, perhaps. Are we each blessed in exactly the way He intends us to be blessed? I mean (and forgive me if I am insensitive, I certainly do not mean it in any way but positively here) if I lack in financial resources, is it because God uses it to keep me in exactly the place where He needs me to minister? Do I have a neighbor in the adjoining apartment or living next door who needs Him—perhaps more than I need money? Or if I lack in family resources—perhaps my husband is not the greatest guy in the world, but he is the guy I chose—is it maybe because God, again, needs to use me in so many ways in that very position? Will I, because of my family situation, turn my focus more outward instead of inward? Maybe it’s not at all about me yet again? Does God use each jot and tittle of my life to glorify Him? Really?

Because if that’s the way it is, what else can I say except thanks.

This brings me to my new word. Adoration. Funny, isn’t this why the three wise men came to visit the boy Jesus? So they could join in His adoration. So they could worship Him. And aren’t these twelve days after Christmas the traditional time we celebrate the quest of the wise men to see the newborn King?

What do you seek, now, during this time called “Christmastide”? What star will you follow? And why will you follow it? January 6th is traditionally called the Feast of the Epiphany. What ah-ha moment will strike you during this time, like it struck the magi two thousand years ago?

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